I’ve been trying to write this post for weeks, long before I joined the Blog Hop on the topic. I can’t seem to get the words out with any sort of meaning behind them. I want to say I’m a working mom and proud. I want to say I shouldn’t have to defend my reasons for enjoying my career and wanting to grow my side business. I want to say that you can be a woman with career goals and be a good mom at the same time, but I haven’t been able to put those words to paper and believe it.
I work 45 hours a week on a good week, blog (duh), run a small business, and organize a boat load of activities in an active Facebook Group for mom bloggers and business owners. I’m also trying to date (what?!) This doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to be a mommy, let alone a good one. And I feel guilty as hell about it.
I get to work from home two days a week and I try really hard to spend quality time when it comes to playing with and loving on little man, but I know I could be better.
I know that instead of playing games on my phone while I rock Zay to sleep and browsing Facebook when I give him his nighttime bottle that I could be reading to him or singing to him or just looking at him. He’s going to be transitioning away from bottles altogether soon and I simply haven’t felt the weight of this fact like I should. My baby, my only baby, my first baby, is not going to need bottles soon and I’m throwing away these memories with pointless IG updates.
Get it together, Nikki, and pay attention to these details. These are the moments that are going to be gone in the blink of an eye and at this point in my life I don’t know that I will ever get to experience them again. I should be savoring every tiny baby breath.
Blogging has always helped me talk through my issues, helped me feel less alone in what I’m experiencing and this is no different. As I force myself to write this post to meet my own group’s deadline, I am realizing that being a working mom is not my problem. My problem is not being present when I am with him.
Being a working mom is actually what makes me a good mom. I have always studied very hard and worked toward my goals. My son will learn how to do the same by watching the effort I consistently put into my job and my side business and my hobbies.
As a single mom, I am the sole provider for our family. I do not receive child support nor any government assistance. So that means every dollar I make matters. I have to budget and stick to that budget. Because of this, my son will also learn money management and the value of hard work.
This is not to say that being a working mom is the only right way, you guys should know me better than that by now, but it is to say that being a working mom is my family’s right way. This works for us, in fact it wouldn’t work AT ALL if I were a stay at home mom. So it is time I stop beating myself up for doing what makes me happy; and working does make me happy, and start embracing it.
I have a career, a side job and a personal life, and I am a good mom.
This post is part of a blog hop from Blog & Business: Moms who do it all. Check out some of the other awesome blogs participating:
The Art of Better | Being Mrs. Beer | Women Winning Online | Mommy My Way | xo -Ava | Kori at Home | Ma Bell Vie | Stellar Mama The Jessie K | Make & Do Crew | This Kenyan Traveler | Blue Eyed Babies | HebrewDawn | Leah With Love | Fighting for Fitness | Tot Tot Goose | Nuture Her Nature | Blogihealth | A Cotton Kandi Life | The Bipolar Mama | Simple Acres | Dawn P Darnell | A Kreative Whim | Scarlett Ballantyne | My Unfiltered Chaos | The Big Red Patch House | The Mother Blog | Diary of a New Mommy