It sucks to be a mom

It sucks to be a mom

It sucks to be a mom

A few days ago, I posted a photo to Instagram that received so much positive feedback that I needed to expand on it to reach even more mamas. See the original post below and head over to my IG @MommyMyWay to give it a like <3

We say that being a mom is the most beautiful, powerful thing a woman can do. We say that being a mom is amazing and you become overfilled with joy. Sometimes though, being a mom is tough as shit. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying as all hell.

I want a clean house and a hot cup of coffee. I want to sleep past 5 am on the weekends. I want to shower regularly and have time to do my hair in the mornings.

Yes, the perks outweigh the inconveniences, but maybe we should also feel comfortable enough to share the shitty parts so women don’t feel like terrible or selfish mothers for wanting some of life’s previously-taken-for-granted availabilities.

I’m a mom who loves her child more than anything in this world, but I also miss simpler times, and it’s ok that I feel that way. It’s ok if you feel that way too. You’re not a terrible mom and you shouldn’t feel guilty.

#allmomsrule 

A photo posted by Nikki – Mommy My Way Blogger (@mommymyway) on

We say that being a mom is the most beautiful, powerful thing a woman can do. We say that being a mom is amazing and you become overfilled with joy. Sometimes though, being a mom is tough as shit. It’s messy. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying as all hell.

Society tells us that we have to LOVE being a mother every second of every day or we are terrible and selfish. Society tells us that we have to take care of the house, the kids, and the significant other; have career goals and a personal life; and we have to be happy about that 24/7 or we are bad, rotten mothers.

Well I call, “Bullshit!”

Wanting a clean house and a hot cup of coffee is not selfish, it’s normal.  Wanting to sleep past 5 am on the weekends and shower daily is not frivolous luxury, it is a simple pleasure that people without kids take for granted. Wanting a career should not be a requirement, but a passion. I want to work and have professional goals, but I don’t want to HAVE to work in order to be deemed successful.

Yes, the perks of motherhood outweigh the hassles, but maybe we should ALL feel comfortable enough to share the shitty parts so women don’t feel guilty for wanting some of life’s previously-taken-for-granted conveniences. There is enough pressure on mothers as is.

Breastfeed for a year, but one day more than a year and you’re a crazy, disgusting hippie.”

“Don’t cosleep ever or you will kill your child.”

“Babywear all day long until your child can walk, and for God’s sake do not force your child to walk before they are ready.”

“Take an extended maternity leave even if you don’t get paid. Your baby needs you, money is not important.”

“Organic. Only organic forever.”

“Be 100% perfectly put together 100% of the time; no exceptions.”

Can we all just take a breath, please?

I’m a mom who loves her child more than anything in this world, but I also miss simpler times, and it’s ok that I feel that way. It’s ok if you feel that way too. You’re not a terrible mom and you should not feel guilty. In fact, you are amazing and you freaking rock.

Share your not-so-glamorous mommy moments in the comments below. Hashtag your public photos on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook with #allmomsrule and @mommymyway so I can see them, love them and share them. <3



11 thoughts on “It sucks to be a mom”

  • I really enjoyed this. I do feel we should talk about parenting in a more realistic light. I miss going out on a whim with friends, carrying a small bag, and not having to ask another person every hour if they have to pee. I love my son to the heavens but I am human.

  • Your post is fantastic and made me feel less guilty about missing the simpler times. I really hate having to clean the couch three times just to remove the smell of vomit! Kids are great, just not when they’re sick lol 🙂

  • I think we all need times to vent about the hard parts of parenthood. I’m one of those “experienced” moms with older kids and remember those days well. Though I also remember how sweet those moments were too. It goes by quickly and I promise you will sleep in again! Spoken by a mom who had to wake up her 10 year old this morning at 8:30 so he could get to school in time.

  • Thank you! That’s just how feel , I miss it too : ( going to the bathroom by myself , showering by myself , sleeping by myself , spending $ on myself (not gonna happen now) . . . . shoot , I miss being able to hear myself think!! Yes I miss it , and I also love my kids more then anyone else or anything else . . that’s why we sacrifice our simple pleasures to give them what they need . ya it sucks tho .

  • I absolutely love this post. I am with you that being a mother can be tough as hell. I too at times just want to do “normal” things without having my children pull at my legs. I am a very house proud person and feel guilty for trying to look after the home instead of playing with them. We have so much pressure put on us to be perfect all of the time. I go bat shit crazy at times because I can’t keep up that perfect mum routine!!

  • Thanks for being so honest and transparent! Motherhood is seriously one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced! I love my little one with every fiber of my being and would do anything for him, but it doesn’t mean things aren’t hard or challenging and that there aren’t days I don’t cry or want to pull my hair out, I miss going to the bathroom by myself, not being a mobile jungle gym, getting a manicure when I feel like going, I miss just sitting and reading a book undisturbed for more than 5 minutes at a time or going through one day without a full on screaming tantrum… life’s not perfect, it’s messy and in the messy is a lot of beauty and joy.

  • Feeling this today. I’m so tired. Being a mom is hardly pretty. I’m struggling with my LO STTN and this morning I was sitting in the bathroom crying and literally pulling my hair and feeling hopeless AF!!!! It was terrible and I was even feeling guilty that I felt that way but then I thought WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL THIS WAY???? WHY SHOULD I FEEL GUILTY? still feeling it a little right now tho lol I just want to agree that motherhood is CRAZY AS HELL!!!

    • There are days where it feels like everything is falling apart and you’re expected to be the glue that holds the whole bunch together. It’s exhausting. Then there are (the very few!) days where it seems like everything fits magically together so seamlessly. Those are the days that make getting through the shitty ones worth it. Hang in there. Feel however you need to feel for the moment and then pull it all back together like the awesome, kick ass mama you are! <3

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