How to make a single mom quit her job

How to make a single mom quit her job
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single mom quit

You are an employer, and one of your employees is a single mom. Forget for a minute that she needs her job. Forget that she probably works 10 times harder than anyone else in the office during normal business hours because she doesn’t have the luxury of logging in at home. Just throw all logic and her prior success at your company out the window, because you want her gone. She can’t travel, she has to leave anytime she gets a phone call, she only works 8-5, she takes too many breaks to pump, but HR says you can’t fire her. Well there are some pretty simple ways to get her to quit.

1. Don’t be flexible
Single moms need employers who are flexible. She needs to work from home ocassionally to take care of her child? Nope. Deny that shit right now, or better yet, give it to her but make her feel super guilty about it so you have an excuse not to give her a raise next year.

2. Don’t give her a raise next year. Or ever.
Daycare is expensive. Kids in general are expensive. She knows this. You know this. Do not offer her any more money regardless of how well she does her job. She’ll be begging for a new one in no time.

3. Refuse to let her bring her kid into the office in an emergency
She has an important meeting and her kid is sick? Make her miss it to stay home with him. In fact, deny him entry into the building completely. She doesn’t have her laptop or charger? Too bad. NO KIDS ALLOWED.

4. Show no compassion.
Single moms feed off that shit. Don’t show her you have a heart. She will see it, she will use it, she will take you for everything you’re worth. She has to cancel a work trip last minute because her sitter fell through? Oh well, you don’t care. Reprimand her accordingly and consider docking her pay. She needs to leave an hour early to go to a school play? DENY. Give her a stack of paperwork to process before she can leave for the night. She can’t attend an after-hours dinner with the higher-ups because it’s her kid’s birthday? Take that as a lack of commitment to her career and never offer her a promotion because of it.

Follow these four tips, these four very simple tips, and you can rest assured that the single mom will be out the door. She’ll search for a job that offers her child care perks, a pump room that isn’t a freezing cold supply closet, the flexibility to work from home and one that values her for her worth. You’ve got nothing to worry about.

This post is sarcasm. As a single mom, I’m fortunate to have an employer that works with me often. Even with bosses who fight for me to progress in my career though, my HR department doesn’t always do it’s job in making sure I’m protected. There have been many instances where HR was unwilling to assist, made me feel guilty for putting my son as a priority over work, and hindered my ability to have a positive work/life balance.

How does your company make you feel like a valued employee? What are some perks you’d love to see standard in companies across the country? Let’s discuss in the comments below.

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10 thoughts on “How to make a single mom quit her job”

  • This is freaking brilliant and so beyond true. Makes me think of all the texts I’ve gotten my working friends “from the inside” while they are at the office and tempted to quit. Come on, America, we can treat our female employees better than this! Also — try coming “back” in the work force after taking time (any amount) off to be a mom. I’ve been without a full-time job only about 10 months birthing and raising and no one will respond to my emails! Gah!

    • haha thanks! I can’t even image having to come back to work after that long. The judgment that mothers get at work is unreal. It doesn’t even matter that you wrote freelance, started a small business while raising a child, they just hear stay at home mom and think lazy. Even my current boss said to me recently, “in the future, working from home is going to hinder your growth at this company.”

  • This is awesome. I’ve got to admit when I first started to read the post my blood started to boil a little. I was thinking to myself what is this woman thinking writing this LOL. Brilliant. I work for a large pediatric practice, needless to say my employer is very understanding, and if my kids get sick guess who takes care of them….my employer 😉

    Great post! You have earned my subscription!

    • Thank you! Yes, I wrote this from a place of anger originally. I was going through something in my professional life that affected my personal life and I was very upset by it; so much so that I was considering quitting. I’ve since realized this particular instance was a one-off, but that doesn’t make it suck any less! Thanks so much for your subscription and reading this article!

  • When I had my office open (as an employer ) we took several bookshelves and sectioned off a space right in the front of the office and called it the Nook. When my girls would come in for meetings all the kiddos would just dissappear in there with all the books and pillows! I’d give them my fabric swatches to sort too! They’d last 2 hours meetings! Except this one little yearling had those squeaky shoes once…. little distracting 😉 I closed up the office to have my first and run the company from home now 🙂

    • That is so wonderful, Kandice! I think employers should allow children in the office whenever their employees need to bring them in. I can see a limit (like your child can’t be at the office on a routine basis as normal childcare), but bringing in a sick baby or when the babysitter cancels last minute, that should be allowed across the board! I dream of one day owning my own company that offers an in-office daycare and a luxurious lactation room and extended paid maternity leave!

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