An unexpected reaction

Yesterday I watched a video of a man expressing his feelings about his role in raising his son. His words caused an emotional response for me. Not because I disagreed with his words or felt he was wrong in some way, but because his views were on his experience and I felt I had the opposite perspective. I don’t think that a child should have to go through life without both of his or her parents. It kills me every day that my son is going to have to go through life with two part-time parents, shuffling between houses and cities.

I love my son’s father with all of my heart and I didn’t ask for the situation I’m in presently. My son didn’t either. Yes, I am hurt. Yes, I feel like I’m forced to give up something for my son’s best interest that I don’t believe I should have to give up. Yes, I struggle every single second with feeling like I’m being selfish for the way I feel. But I am able to recognize the fact that I’m absolutely doing what’s best for my son no matter how I feel about it personally. No parent is perfect and I know I will make mistakes, but I don’t regret the words I said in my response to Prentice Powell.

I am a little taken aback by his response though. He took my very private post to my very small group of friends who read my blog and made it a public spectacle. He’s posted not only my original letter, but also his response to my letter, when my letter was in no way directed at him personally, despite my “Dear Prentice Powell” introduction. His public standing in the world has now made me the center of a lot of unwelcomed opinions. I’m getting called names and judged for a very short letter by a lot of people who have no idea what I’m going through. I didn’t call Prentice any names and I didn’t attack his life or his choices. I used his words as a platform for which to respond to. Now perhaps I could have made adjustments in the manner in which I released my views. I could have address a certain type of parent rather than Prentice himself. I could have completely ignored specific references to his video in my letter, but I didn’t.

There were a lot of people who supported my views and understood where I was coming from, and for those I am thankful. I am thankful I wasn’t judged and I am thankful for the prayers and positive wishes I received from them. I am also thankful in a weird way for Prentice’s response. Although I think he may have missed my point as he felt I had missed his, the real point is that we both love our sons and are unhappy with the circumstances surrounding how we are forced to raise them for less than all of the time we think we deserve. I believe Prentice loves his son wholeheartedly and I don’t doubt his ability to be a great father, but the truth is I don’t know that he is one. I couldn’t possibly know that by watching a video or seeing his Facebook, just as he or any of his fans couldn’t possibly know I’m a bad mother by reading one blog post I wrote.

So to those of you who think I was completely selfish and wrong for the words that I said, I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I luckily know myself better than you know me and your words, although hurtful, do not define me. And to those of you who support me and have me in your prayers, I appreciate the positive thoughts for what I’m going through and I thank you for not judging me from a few words I wrote on my own website.



3 thoughts on “An unexpected reaction”

  • With all due respect, from one parent of 2 children to a soon to be parent (I truly hope you get all the support you need), your original letter was a direct rebuttal to statements made by Mr Powell in his video (which you even posted with your blog entry), you addressed him directly, you made and applied assumption based on the very words he used. So to feel that you were brought, in what sounds like you feel unwillingly into a spotlight, I feel is incorrect since you have a public blog and on that blog you addressed a member of the public personally.
    Your latest entry reads a little like someone backpedaling.

    Parenting is damn hard work, and just like you, 90% of parents have unconditional love for their children (you think you love him now, wait until you hold him… your universe will make complete sense) .

    God Bless

  • Hi Nikki,
    First let me start by saying I’m sorry to hear about the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy, I pray that things will get better for you. However I wanted to say that in many ways when writing a letter you have to know that the first line is the line addressing someone that’s why some people say “To whom it may concern”. When you addressed your letter in that manner it is safe to assume that the letter was written to Mr.Powell. When Mr. Powell took the letter to Facebook I don’t think it was with negative intentions it was with the intention of again addressing something that WAS addressed to him. Look I’m not taking sides because I think all parents have the right to their children but I think that for you to say that this was a private party but it was addressed to what you knew was a public speaker, you would have been better off sending the letter to him in his inbox because then he wouldn’t have felt like you (like so many other people) were talking about him without talking to him. Just a suggestion. I support your love and desire to have your son and I hope that you don’t let this experience or your circumstance ruin this time for you. Remember your having beautiful baby enjoy the parts you can and seek support for the rest.

  • I think that it is your right to express your opinion, even if others don’t agree with it. Its your blog and they’re your feelings and you should not be chastised for expressing that. All you can do is stay true to yourself and I respect you for being strong in your beliefs. I support you always.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *