I have been in full on basket-case mode for days now. The stress of being a single mom and the resentment I feel toward my “baby daddy” is completely overwhelming. Quite frankly, I’m pissed. I’m so angry that I’m in this situation that I am worrying about everything. I’m worried about him taking me to court for custody, and winning. I’m worried about juggling the amazing full-time job I have with full-time motherhood. I’m worried about having to go into labor and through my entire delivery alone. I’m worried about being a good mommy to Zaylen once he’s here and I’m worried that I may make a wrong choice in what is best for him. I can burst into tears at any moment, for any reason. Hell, I’m crying now.
My prenatal yoga class at Plum Tree Yoga is typically held on Wednesday nights, but luckily they added a second class each week because the popularity is growing. Tonight was the first time that the Monday night prenatal yoga class was held. This could not have been better timing as I was fighting back tears all day at work and let them flow once I reached the privacy of my car.
Tonight we focused on relaxation techniques and breathing techniques for de-stressing. We went through a lot of sequences and included movements in our poses, where normally we remain still and hold the pose. Because it was a smaller group, we pulled out chairs for our warrior sequence. I could feel my body surrendering to the movements much easier this week. The stretches felt more natural and my pre-pregnancy flexibility is beginning to return.
I originally joined the prenatal yoga class as a place to meet other pregnant women and get out of the house a little bit, but I’m not really getting the socialization out of it that I was hoping for. I’m finding it is actually doing wonders for my peace of mind. An unexpected, yet welcomed effect.